Distance

You're so much the expert
I so much the novice
truthfully we are too far apart on the professional practice continuum
to ever meet

though we may walk the hospital corridor in a seemingly linear path,
appear at the bedside in the same physical time/space,
the circuitry within our minds function in entirely different dimensions-
intersecting briefly- and then only because you are overgenerous and double back for me

1 week in hospital

Waiting for him to come home
Call from ER- he's been brought in by ambulance, having fainted
CT head, ECG, x-ray
pale
6 hours of blood transfusions

no sleep in the hospital chair
5am blood test
7am endoscopy
7:20am There are ulcers but it looks like stomach cancer
recovery room

waiting
biopsy results, tumor markers
CT abdomen- enlarged nodes

nurses
transport
lab techs
Primary care doctor - "doesn't look good"
GI specialist
attending - "let's not jump to conclusions- let's just call it a mass"
intern
surgeon
pathologist
cardiologist - "slight risk of heart attack on table"
oncologist - "This may or may not require chemotherapy"
radiation oncologist - "There are several treatment options,
nutritionist

there are no more tears
eyelids are stiff

CT chest
not enough tissue- another endoscopy

"I don't want to be cut open"
"I don't want to die"