warm blanket
risks
everything is blue
don't remember anything
marking pen - x on limb, forehead, shoulder, leg
blood transfusion consent
belongings in a bag
blue hair nets

what are the last words I can say to you
when you disappear behind the OR doors,
will I see you again

I'll see you when you wake up
we'll take good care of you
the surgeon is excellent
you're in the best place to be for this procedure
you'll be fine
everything is going to be okay

longest night

waiting for his wife to come out of surgery
he collapses
he is found on the bathroom floor in asystole
there is an immediate attempt to resuscitate him
but it is too late
the "code blue" sounds flat, as if the announcer knows that there is no hope

the doctor asks for a "death pack"
only a folded shroud and a few papers
but it feels so heavy in my hand